I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
