You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
