i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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