Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
