so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
