Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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