Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
