Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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