Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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