We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
