Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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