He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize