I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
