All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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