worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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