No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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