I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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