i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
