so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Houston, we have a blender
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
