god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
