FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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