If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
