Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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