I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
