I want to have your abortion
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
