woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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