how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
