i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
MIDGETS
????
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
