I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
