I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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