Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
