i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
bring money and cleavage
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
