Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
