the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just google imaged poop.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize