This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
