Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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