Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
