i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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