I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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