Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
