Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
