I'm gonna have a badass scar
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
