This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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