I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
