Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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