And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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