I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
