i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
