Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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