Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
