The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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