omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
