what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize