legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
