Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
