ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
