Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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