well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
