Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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