you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...