having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
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Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.